No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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