some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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