He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She bit a glass in half.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize