Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love how my cats smell like pot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
