can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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