oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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