He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
