1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
