My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
