I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
