Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
