garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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