giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
