If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
