Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
