I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
