can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
