Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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