just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
