What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
