im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize