fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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