Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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