Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
