ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
