I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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