I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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