This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
