I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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