my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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