You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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