WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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