She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
