I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
