Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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