Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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