i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
