when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were destined to go to rehab together
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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