You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
