actually, I'm a sock model
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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