Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
