He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
