It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
