Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
