am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need to calm my uterus...
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