she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
