I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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