Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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