I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
