Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
