Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
