It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
