I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
