called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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