Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
