I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He shit in the fireplace
Congratulations! We have a period
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
