i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Small penises have feelings too.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
