she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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