Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
