the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
