i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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