I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
