I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
