Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize